I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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