his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
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