I think im going to throw up on grandma
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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