i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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