nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So vagazzling was a success
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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