I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
