I am in a vortex of obligation.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
