paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
