i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
