Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Rumble strips road head = magical
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
