I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I wish I could punch you in the face.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
