Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
