I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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