K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
