i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
