There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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