Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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