We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
