She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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