he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
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