If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
