He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
