Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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