Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
