google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
