5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
