Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
