Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
