So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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