His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
