if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
