I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Randomize
