Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
