Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
