you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
it glows. i had to have it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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