wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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