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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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