She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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