Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
