Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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