I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
