whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
