i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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