god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i've created a new STD.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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