I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
