Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
