the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
