How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
