My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
