He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
