Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
