I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Randomize
