yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
